September 3, 2013
“”If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” – Woody Allen
“If you want God to REALLY laugh, change your plans again, watch them crumble, and repeat the process.”- Me
Even since I was a child, I have always dreamed of becoming a teacher. I loved working with children and it was a perfect job for someone who hoped to have a family or her own. As I stood proudly on the stage at my college graduation, I was positive that I would soon start my long, wonderful career as a teacher. I had always been taught that if you work hard for something, it would happen to you. So God Damn it, I was going to become a teacher.
Four child-related jobs later, I decided that maybe I should change careers. So, I became an activities director. I loved it and I was good at it. I thought “Hey, maybe I could this as a career .”
Yet after four jobs, three years, a move to the south, a move back from the south and an empty savings account, I realized being an activities director wasn’t going to work either. So where did this leave me? Broke, and unemployed. Yes, at age thirty I was living home with the parents. Ah, the American Dream (sob). It seemed that the only logical thing to was to go back to teaching.
Despite the horrible experiences I had teaching, I knew it was the best chance I had to get a decant job was in the educational field. I had the experience and a degree with elementary/special education. So, after I was offered a teacher assistant job I immediately accepted. What choice did I have….right?
Here I was, inside the elementary school with my new collegues listening to the principal drone on about the brand new year. My face smiled so hard, it hurt. Inside though I was thinking “Oh My God, I’m going to fail…..“Oh My God, I’m going to fail…..“Oh My God, I’m going to fail…..”
Yet I survived the day! Hooray!! One down, and only 179 more to go!
Now, back to the real topic of my blog: my Neurofeedback Therapy.
Traffic to the Neurofeedback center was stop and go. I did rather decent with the rewards. This time it was 3 minutes on, and 30 seconds off. No real side effects today. Yeah!!!
Poor Tech One kept apologizing for hurting me. However, I am very sensitive to touch. That is because part of my left brain is overactive.
Here is the score from today’s sessions. I wish I could put it in a chart form…but I don’t know how.
63, 57, 61, 63, 58, 61, 62, 63
September 6, 2013
Ouch! That is how my head feels. What a headache! I haven’t had one of those in a while. My score for the sessions was as follows:
60,64,63,62,60,62,64,61,59,63. I felt extremely tired when I went home. In fact, I had no desire to even do anything. I’m sure part of the reason I am so tired is because the stress I felt at work.
Work actually is going well…which is part of why I am freaking out. Let me explain. In my past jobs (and two careers) I have always asked my employers had well I was doing. They would always insist that I was doing fine. My co-workers would always praise me. So you could imagine my surprise when I my employer would call me in to say the following three words: You are fired.
Okay…it was not normally in those words but it certainly sounded the same!
Although it is only nine, I’m off to bed. I am way to tired to do anything else. Night!
September 7, 2013
Noting like spending my Saturday morning getting glue stuck to my head and staring at a computer screen. The session was (again) followed by a massage headache. Doc said that is normal, especially since my brain was so sluggish. He offered to lower the interval times, but I refused. There was no way in hell that I was going to slow the process anymore!
On the plus side, Doc gave me some more insight about my brain. The reason I am so sensitive to touch and why I aced the critical reasoning part of the test is because my left brain is over active. The right side, which helps the mind solve problems and helps one learn visually and auditory. Both the problems on the left and the right side of the brain is causing a traffic jam, which is another reason why I am so slow! Today, it felt like electricity was moving in my brain.
Doc also recommended I try Guaram, which would help me stay awake and help with the cognitive process of my brain. Interesting.
59, 55, 56, 51, 58, 55, 51, 61, 51, 65