September 16, 2013:
I am so FRUSTRATED!!! I go to this stupid Neurofeedback center three times a week. That is an 80 minute round trip, three days a week. Then, there is the 15 painful minutes of getting 27 sensors glued on to my head. Next, I am required to stare at the fucking computer for a half an hour, trying to make the stupid green ball stay on the screen. All this work and I barely score 60. Lastly, I have to get the glue (painfully) washed off and then drive forty minutes home. Oh, and each session costs $50.00. Between this therapy and work, I am feeling very tired. I was unemployed for a year and a half. Why couldn’t I have started and finish this then? GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Ok, so I might need to relax. It doesn’t help that I am freaking out about work. Although things appear to be okay, I am always doubting myself. Did I put enough perfume on? Did I put too much on? Is this really the correct answer to the math problem I’m correcting? Did I say the appropriate thing at lunch to my coworkers? On and on and on.
Some days I wonder if all this is truly worth it all…
September 20, 2013
“I’ve never seen such high Delta waves.” This rates number one on my “Things I don’t want to hear from my doctor” list. Yet that is what Doc said after looking at my delta brain waves.
What are delta waves? They are brain waves that are active when you sleep. Wait…you have no idea what brain waves are, do you?
“Your brain is made up of billions of brain cells called neurons, which use electricity to communicate with each other. The combination of millions of neurons sending signals at once produces an enormous amount of electrical activity in the brain, which can be detected using sensitive medical equipment (such as an EEG), measuring electricity levels over areas of the scalp (transparentcorp.com).”
According to transparentcorp.com, the combination of electrical activity of the brain is commonly called a Brainwave pattern, because of its cyclic, “wave-like” nature.
Those who have high delta waves are those that have A.D.D/ADHD. Interesting. http://www.brainandhealth.com/Brain-Waves.html lists and defines the four brain waves as the following:
– Delta waves occur during sleep. Deep, dreamless sleep. Delta is the slowest band of brainwaves. When your dominant brainwave is delta, your body is healing itself and “resetting” its internal clocks. You do not dream in this state and are completely unconscious.
– Theta waves are associated with sleep, deep relaxation (like hypnotic relaxation), and visualization
– Alpha waves occur when we are relaxed and calm (Since I am a stressed out person, this comes to no surprised to me that these waves are low).
– Beta waves occur when we are actively thinking, problem-solving, etc.
My Theta and Beta waves are also high, but not as much as my delta waves. Saying that the waves are high is also saying that my brain waves are also…well hyper. As Doc has said, my waves are moving so fast, that they are causing traffic jams within the rest of the brain. This means that important information isn’t getting to my brain as fast, hence while it might take me longer to process certain information or recall certain information.
Positives to having increase Delta Waves: Actually, there are some positive benefits to having increased Delta Waves, according to http://4mind4life.com/. One positive thing is we have increase empathy skills. This means people like me are able to read how others are feeling. Also, we have an increased in Anti-Aging hormones and Human Growth Hormones. Both type of hormones help people age slower and increase fertility. Most of the woman on my mother’s side do look rather young. Also, my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother all had healthy children well into their mid-forties. Since I have suspected that I inherited my A.D.D from my mother’s side on the family, it makes sense that my mother’s family would have those traits: They all probably had increased delta waves.
There are also some negatives to having increased Delta Waves besides the ‘traffic jam’ that I explained above. For one, people with high delta waves can feel more tired, are unfocused, and are extremely emotional. All three seem to be true with me. I am soo sensitive! Even when my boss talks to me in a harsh voice (not yelling, mind you) and I feel like crying. As I have mentioned before, my sub type of A.D.D (Sluggish Cognitive Temperament) does make me feel tired and unfocused. Now I know that is because of the increased Delta Waves.
While I do like some of positives of having increased Delta Waves, like having better fertility and looking younger, I need to remember why I am going through Neurofeedback Therapy: I need a job.
Doc doesn’t show much emotion, but I think he is frustrated as well about my progress. I am having trouble finding the Guara vitamins that Doc recommended. How long will it be before my scores improve???
Brain Mapping Results
Round 9/16 9/20 9/21
1 54 58 62
2 61 61 61
3 60 62 58
4 62 58 62
5 61 61 63
6 60 59 58
7 59 55 61
8 61 61 58
9 63 57 57
10 (not changed to 12)65 58
11 (not changed to 12)57 57
(not changed to 12)65 60