Neurofeedback: Further Improvement

The way to hell pictureNovember 10th
The good news is Maria will be coming to the new center on Tuesdays. The bad news is Granny and Gumby still have no idea what the hell they are doing. Gumby takes twice as long as Maria to put the glue and sensors on my head. He isn’t nearly as gentle as Maria is. Gumby is so rough scrubbing my head, it often feels as though he is abrading my scalp with sandpaper. Having him take the glue off my head is even more painful! It makes my time at the dentist seem like heaven. Worse, Gumby doesn’t even get ALL the glue off. I can still feel the clumps of glue stuck in my hair long after I leave. It takes about three showers to finally get rid of the clumps of glue. Oh, the frustration!

While all this is going on, Granny is just watching Gumby instead of participating (Fantastic idea, Granny). After getting the stupid glue put on my head, the techs realize the computer isn’t working. I have gone through all the hell of Gumby putting glue on my head for nothing. Why the fuck did Doc hire these two morons? GRRRR……Actually, so many other clients are getting ticked off by Granny and Gumby that they also are going to Maria. What a shocker!

On a happier note, my scores have continued to rise. On November 5th, my score reached 70 during the seventh round. This means my brain was able to stay on task for 35 seconds. YIPPIE!! Yet my brain has a long way to go to get rid of all the “traffic.” I still have trouble with certain facts. Case in point, I made a bad mistake today in math today I told a student, Ginny, that her division problem was right and it wasn’t. I didn’t notice that Ginny had brought the same number down twice, throwing off her answer. Of course I found my mistake…when I heard the teacher talking to Ginny.

Teacher: Ginny, this isn’t correct.
Ginny: But Miss Walsh said it was!!
Me: (looks at watch) Gee, look at the time! Gotta go help out with first grade. Later! I rushed quickly out of the room.

Okay, so that last line didn’t happen. Thankfully, the teacher never confronted me about it. Still, it was humiliating. Even now I beat myself up over it. Why do I keep making these mistakes? More importantly, when will I STOP making these mistakes? I sometimes feel as though my A.D.D is easily shown at work. It is as though I have an “A” on my chest the way Hester Prynne did in The Scarlet Letter. Although my “A” represents Attention Deficit Disorder rather than adultery, I still feel like an outcast.

Regardless of how well I am doing with the Neurofeedback therapy, I don’t think I could be a teacher. There is too much stress and politics involved. Now I have to figure out what the hell I want (and more importantly) can do with my life. I know what I don’t want to do…which is a nine to five job in a cubicle. Needless to say that limits me.

Perhaps I could be a basic skills teacher. I may have twenty students but only for a few subjects. Furthermore, I can teach them in smaller groups. Ironically enough, there just might be a basic skills position opening up in the spring. Hmm……

 

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Neurofeed Back Therapy Diary: Week One, Let the ‘Fixing’ Began!

I feel the best way for others to benefit from my experience is if I start blogging about my Neurofeedback sessions each week.   I will also record what changes (if any) I have noticed.  The purpose of my blog is for others with learning disabilities learn about Neurofeedback Therapy.  If it helps me, perhaps it will help others as well.

The cortex (the outside covering of the brain) is sluggish.   This indicates that I have the subtype of A.D.D. which is called Sluggish Cognitive Temperament.  Basically, my brain processes things much slower.  Hence, it takes me a while to finish certain tasks.

I hope to feature a page, displaying my brain mapping in more detail at a later date.   Enjoy the diary!

 

 

Monday, August 26th

Eight days until my job starts….

Oh boy……

My first neurofeedback session was today!  I’m a bit flustered that I am just starting the treatment a week before my new job starts!  I started meeting with Doc in April in hopes of  finishing the treatment before my job started.   Yet between waiting for  approval from my insurance company and Doc’s schedule…it wasn’t meant to be.

Doc’s goal is to make my brain process things faster so I can work faster.  Therefore, the first step is to work on the cortex, the outside layer of the brain.  We want to make the brain from “sluggish” to “tightness”.  This will take about twenty sessions.   After that, Doc might work with me to re-map my brain to see how the rest of the brain is functioning.   This whole process is going to take longer than I expected!   There goes my afternoons baby-sitting.  Instead I will be driving forty-minutes to get my brain fixed.  Groan…………….

Tech One (whom I met from the initial brain mapping process) once again put the sticky paste on my scape.  Then she put twenty four  white circular wires (which I learned are sensors) on my head.  As a reminder, the picture below is just an example of what I looked like:

(picture from: http://www.intechopen.com/books/management-of-epilepsy-research-results-and-treatment/dense-array-eeg-epilepsy)

The wires were connected to a computer.  Tech Two told me to just stare at the computer.  A circular picture similar to the one below appeared:

(picture from https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&docid=UEy75kWu6pxFmM&tbnid=6nxiDQVMcdz94M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.appliedneuroscience.com%2FCollection.htm&ei=M3gsUsPuNMLD4AO3i4GwCw&psig=AFQjCNE3MEZdYdFPumErLzxjR9id6y2GJg&ust=1378732327399249)

Weird picture, isn’t it? The only difference between the picture above and the one I saw on the  computer screen is there was only one green circle in the center instead of four.   I was instructed to stare at the screen and concentrate on the green circle.

“What else should I be doing while I am sitting here?” I asked the second Tech.

“Nothing,” Tech Two replied.  “The brain and the computer are supposed to do the work.  Just sit and concentrate on the green ball on the screen.  When you see the green ball pop up, that means the brain waves are moving the way it is suppose to.”  It amazed me that I wasn’t doing the work; the brain and the computer were completing the task!

I would stare at the computer for two minutes (although it felt like ten)  and then have a ninety second break before the next two minute interval started.  At the end of each interval, the computer would show me the rewards I earned.  Each ‘reward’ represented the half of second my brain listened to the computer.  My reward for the first interval was 160, meaning my brain listened to the computer for 80 seconds during the first interval.

I couldn’t understand why the hell they are called ‘rewards’.   My brain was doing the work.  All I was doing was staring at the screen.  It would be really cool if I did get some reward, like a ten percent discount off my co-pay for my next session.

Tech Two said I would feel some ‘brain fatigue’ after the session.  I didn’t feel tired, but my head did feel weird; almost like it was getting stretched out.   Still, I am excited to see the changes during the next few weeks….if there are going to be changes at all……

 

August 28, 2013

Five days until my job starts….

Starting to feel nervous…….

 

My score is still 160.  YEAH!!!

Despite feeling wide awake this morning, my brain felt very strained and tired after my feedback session today.  Twice, I bumped into the wall on my way out of the room.

“Are you all right?” Tech One asked.

I rubbed my head, extremely embarrassed.  “Uh…I’m good, thanks.”

I sat in the waiting room and tried to read, only to get a headache.  It didn’t help that the other patients saw my clumsy act, which made me feel very self conscious.

So I went to my car and rested my eyes for twenty minutes.  Then I heard a knock on my window.

“Are you okay?”

Tech Two was outside on her break, and saw me sleeping in my car.  It was sweet of the staff to be concern of me.  Yet I felt (unjustly)  annoyed.   Could I get some privacy, please? Sheesh!

I insisted that I was all right, turned the car on, and left.   Even as I type this, I feel drained.  I better asked Doc if this is normal….

 

August 29th, 2013

Five  days until my job starts….

(Gulp)

 

I had scheduled to meet my date, Lance, at a pub around eight.  My session ended at 6:30.  The pub was forty minutes away.  Not a problem, right?  Oh wait,…..I need to clean the glue out of my hair.

                See, the glue stuff makes me look like something between Pipi Lonstocking and Edward Scissor Hand.  Here is what I mean:

Image

(picture from:www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com )

+

Image

      (picture from: http://www.fanpop.com)

=

ME!

(well, not me, but my hair looked similar)

Image

Picture from:

   http://cdn.stylisheve.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Crazy-halloween-hairstyles-for-women_11.jpg

Scary, isn’t?

Then I realized something: My aunt lives twenty  minutes away from the Neurofeedback Center.   I could run to her place, take a shower, and still meet Lance at eight.  So, called her up, and asked if I could use her shower (weird thing to ask, isn’t it?).

Thankfully, I had already informed her previously about getting involved with Neurofeedback so she understood why I had glue in my hair (it would have been an awkward conversation otherwise).  Auntie said yes, I could come and use the shower.  Hooray!!

Anyway, back to my session.  Doc was concerned with how long the intervals were on the EEG today.  Once I told him how tired I was, he told Tech One to lower the intervals to one  minute with a 90 second break instead of two minutes with a 50 second break.  This means my brain should aim for a score of 60 instead of 160.  I’m not happy with Doc’s decision.  In my mind the longer the intervals the faster the brain will fix itself.  Of course, if my brain works too hard it would probably do more harm than good.   I have to admit; I am not as tired today after the session.

 

 

August 31, 2013

Three days until my new job starts…..

I’m going to be okay, I’m going to be okay….I’m..going to throw up…..

 

I’m pretty annoyed today for many reasons.  I didn’t score as high as I did in the past.   Even with the times of the intervals being cut into half, I only scored 49 instead of 60.  I hope it was because I was just tired.  Tech one said she would cut the break in half next week.

The other reason I am so agitated is because my new job starts Tuesday.  I am looking forward to my new job, but I am not expecting it to last long.  Because I can’t finish my work as fast as my peers, my past jobs have only lasted a year.  This is why I want this brain mapping to work.

Needless to say, I haven’t notice any changes and I doubt I will for a few more weeks.

 

Choa, Readers!

 

-Mary Regina Shine

 

Neurofeed Back Therapy Diary: Week One, Let the ‘Fixing’ Began!

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label='Email' type='email' required='1'/][contact-field label='Website' type='url'/][contact-field label='Comment' type='textarea' required='1'/][/contact-form]

I feel the best way for others to benefit from my experience is if I start blogging about my Neurofeedback sessions each week.   I will also record what changes (if any) I have noticed.  The purpose of my blog is for others with learning disabilities learn about Neurofeedback therapy.  If it helps me, perhaps it will help others as well.

The cortex (the outside covering of the brain) is sluggish.   This indicates that I have the subtype of A.D.D. which is called Sluggish Cognitive Temperament.  Basically, my brain processes things much slower.  Hence, it takes me a while to finish certain tasks.

I hope to feature a page, displaying my brain mapping in more detail at a later date.   Enjoy the diary!

Monday, August 26th

Eight days until my job starts….

My first neurofeedback session was today!  I’m a bit flustered that I am just starting the treatment a week before my new job starts!  I started meeting with Doc in April in hopes of  finishing the treatment before my job started.   Yet between waiting for  approval from my insurance company and Doc’s schedule…it wasn’t meant to be.

Doc’s goal is to make my brain process things faster so I can work faster.  Therefore, the first step is to work on the cortex, the outside layer of the brain.  We want to make the brain from “sluggish” to “tightness”.  This will take about twenty sessions.   After that, Doc might work with me to re-map my brain to see how the rest of the brain is functioning.   This whole process is going to take longer than I expected!   There goes my afternoons baby-sitting.  Instead I will be driving forty-minutes to get my brain fixed.  Groan…………….

Tech One (whom I met from the initial brain mapping process) once again put the sticky paste on my scape.  Then she put twenty four  white circular wires (which I learned are sensors) on my head.  As a reminder, the picture below is just an example of what I looked like:

(picture from: http://www.intechopen.com/books/management-of-epilepsy-research-results-and-treatment/dense-array-eeg-epilepsy)

The wires were connected to a computer.  Tech Two told me to just stare at the computer.  A circular picture similar to the one below appeared:

(picture from https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&docid=UEy75kWu6pxFmM&tbnid=6nxiDQVMcdz94M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.appliedneuroscience.com%2FCollection.htm&ei=M3gsUsPuNMLD4AO3i4GwCw&psig=AFQjCNE3MEZdYdFPumErLzxjR9id6y2GJg&ust=1378732327399249)

Weird picture, isn’t it? The only difference between the picture above and the one I saw on the  computer screen is there was only one green circle in the center instead of four.   I was instructed to stare at the screen and concentrate on the green circle.

“What else should I be doing while I am sitting here?” I asked the second Tech.

“Nothing,” Tech Two replied.  “The brain and the computer are supposed to do the work.  Just sit and concentrate on the green ball on the screen.  When you see the green ball pop up, that means the brain waves are moving the way it is suppose to.”  It amazed me that I wasn’t doing the work; the brain and the computer were completing the task!

I would stare at the computer for two minutes (although it felt like ten)  and then have a ninety second break before the next two minute interval started.  At the end of each interval, the computer would show me the rewards I earned.  Each ‘reward’ represented the half of second my brain listened to the computer.  My reward for the first interval was 160, meaning my brain listened to the computer for 80 seconds during the first interval.

I couldn’t understand why the hell they are called ‘rewards’.   My brain was doing the work.  All I was doing was staring at the screen.  It would be really cool if I did get some reward, like a ten percent discount off my co-pay for my next session.

Tech Two said I would feel some ‘brain fatigue’ after the session.  I didn’t feel tired, but my head did feel weird; almost like it was getting stretched out.   Still, I am excited to see the changes during the next few weeks….if there are going to be changes at all……

August 28, 2013

Five days until my job starts….

Starting to feel nervous…….

My score is still 160.  YEAH!!!

Despite feeling wide awake this morning, my brain felt very strained and tired after my feedback session today.  Twice, I bumped into the wall on my way out of the room.

“Are you all right?” Tech One asked.

I rubbed my head, extremely embarrassed.  “Uh…I’m good, thanks.”  I sat in the waiting room and tried to read, only to get a headache.  It didn’t help that the other patients saw my clumsy act, which made me feel very self conscious.

So I went to my car and rested my eyes for twenty minutes.  Then I heard a knock on my window.

“Are you okay?”

Tech Two was outside on her break, and saw me sleeping in my car.  It was sweet of the staff to be concern of me.  Yet I felt (unjustly)  annoyed.   Could I get some privacy, please? Sheesh!

I insisted that I was all right, turned the car on, and left.   Even as I type this, I feel drained.  I better asked Doc if this is normal….

August 29th, 2013

Five  days until my job starts….

(Gulp)

I had scheduled to meet my date, Lance, at a pub around eight.  My session ended at 6:30.  The pub was forty minutes away.  Not a problem, right?  Oh wait,…..I need to clean the glue out of my hair.

                See, the glue stuff makes me look like something between Pipi Lonstocking and Edward Scissor Hand.  Here is what I mean:

Image

(picture from:www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com )

+

Image

      (picture from: http://www.fanpop.com)

=

ME!

(well, not me, but my hair looked similar)

Image

Picture from:

   http://cdn.stylisheve.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Crazy-halloween-hairstyles-for-women_11.jpg

Scary, isn’t?

Then I realized something: My aunt lives twenty  minutes away from the Neurofeedback Center.   I could run to her place, take a shower, and still meet Lance at eight.  So, called her up, and asked if I could use her shower (weird thing to ask, isn’t it?).

Thankfully, I had already informed her previously about getting involved with Neurofeedback so she understood why I had glue in my hair (it would have been an awkward conversation otherwise). Auntie said yes, I could come and use the shower.  Hooray!!

Anyway, back to my session.  Doc was concerned with how long the intervals were on the EEG today.  Once I told him how tired I was, he told Tech One to lower the intervals to one  minute with a 90 second break instead of two minutes with a 50 second break.  This means my brain should aim for a score of 60 instead of 160.  I’m not happy with Doc’s decision.  In my mind the longer the intervals the faster the brain will fix itself.  Of course, if my brain works too hard it would probably do more harm than good.   I have to admit; I am not as tired today after the session.

August 31, 2013

Three days until my new job starts…..

I’m going to be okay, I’m going to be okay….I’m..going to throw up…..

I’m pretty annoyed today for many reasons.  I didn’t score as high as I did in the past.   Even with the times of the intervals being cut into half, I only scored 49 instead of 60.  I hope it was because I was just tired.  Tech one said she would cut the break in half next week.

The other reason I am so agitated is because my new job starts Tuesday.  I am looking forward to my new job, but I am not expecting it to last long.  Because I can’t finish my work as fast as my peers, my past jobs have only lasted a year.  This is why I want this brain mapping to work.

Needless to say, I haven’t notice any changes and I doubt I will for a few more weeks.